Why ‘Fake it til you make it’ is the worst advice you’ll ever receive

April 4, 2017, In: Confidence, Favourite, Leaders, Women

At the beginning of many careers, people are advised to fake it ’till they make it. In fact, I’ve been told this in many aspects of both my personal and professional life. But the truth is, faking it is really just setting yourself up to fail.  People embrace and connect with you when you are the real deal!


What should guide you, in all aspects of your life, is authenticity. This is what is key to your personal brand. Authenticity is where the best relationships develop. You can spot a faker a mile away. They don’t engender trust. Their body language is off. They don’t deliver what they say. Whether it’s a colleague, business partner, potential employee, friend, boss, family member…if you can’t trust someone’s word, what’s left? 

Embrace the gaps 

Refusing to fake it might mean that there are some gaps. These might be gaps in your knowledge, gaps in your confidence, gaps in your education. Everyone has them. The best way to deal with these is to embrace them. If you feel like public speaking is an area that you need a boost in, look for a mentor or someone who can help you. If you’re lacking in experience in a certain area, pretending you have it isn’t going to get you anywhere. Instead, look for a way to gain that experience or turn it around to create a new narrative. People relate to those that admit their truth. Perceived ‘flaws’ are usually powerful tools in disguise. 

Focus on what you’ve got 

Don’t focus on the areas that are lacking, focus on your strengths. If you feel like you are quieter than others, don’t try and fake being an extrovert, simply embrace the power of the way in which you communicate and listen. You know where your strengths lie. You know your authentic brand. Let this guide you to forge a path. 

Push yourself 

Being authentic and refusing to fake it doesn’t mean you don’t need to get outside your comfort zone. By all means, throw yourself in the deep end. Do things that make you uncomfortable. Take chances. But through it all, know who you are. Know that who you are is enough. You don’t ever gain confidence by faking it. You develop it by pushing yourself. By learning more and being open to feedback. Success isn’t about putting on an act. Confidence and success come from genuine hard work. 

Who you are is evolving and changing at a rapid pace and there is never any situation where being inauthentic will get you further than letting your true self be your guide.

If you’re ready to be empowered and take that next big step in your development, I’d love to work with you. For a no-obligation chat, call 0405 440 366 or contact me.

Melissa Lewis

Founder / Personal Brand and Image Specialist

One of my greatest pleasures is assisting intelligent, driven and hardworking businesswomen to have greater confidence, presence and influence in their careers.

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